First experience

... And when sat in the elevator, hoping it will catch up and stop, and when she came out of the house - looking back ... Naive several times ...
I wandered through the streets, almost anything without thinking, I examined the house, the trees, admiring the sky ... Several times I asked myself ... what now? The end? Ahead of emptiness ... Where to go? What for? And it is impossible not to go, and nowhere to go ...
I went to the embankment. Why should I do these people? I hate them. I closed my eyes and imagine that the wind hugs me, caresses his face and ruffled hair, and the water is whispering something beautiful, wise and good name to me, but I did not know the language Well, so what? I still understand that it is something very beautiful. I sat near the water for a long time and watched the way the sky and the water change color. I sat up as long as in my heart there was nothing left but admiration for the beauty of the sunken sun, which for centuries sinks behind this horizon, but is reborn every day, never to be repeated in its beauty.
It was cool, the sun went down, the water became dark and I wandered along the promenade to the lights, the people s where I could get away from them? People would not let me live, but I could not survive without them.
I chose a table in a nearby cafe in the corner. It was disgusting that there are so many people -I sat with his back to the audience, facing the wall and ordered wine. I loved this city, it seemed to me that he would bring me happiness, my life will turn ... Yes, it capsized, but was roly-poly ... my life, getting up, could not stop, she still continues to roll on this day . As on a swing ... top -down, up -down, just breathtaking ...
To hell out of this town! Here I have nothing else holds! I reached for another cigarette, a glass of wine staggered uncertainly, stung hand plopped on the table. I stared at the slowly spreads over the white tablecloth spot. "Red blood -red", -proneslas In the head line of the song. More about anything I did not think -I stared at a spot that is born in my mind images of unknown monsters, bizarre human faces, sinister castles.
I was carried away in a world of images, I forgot about cigarettes, I forgot about everything. the waiter's voice made me wake up -cafe closed. I got up and walked past the empty tables away. I wandered where his feet were carrying, although they certainly carried me towards the station. But it was far from the station, but I ignored all traffic -I was, was, was ... I hesitated? I pulled the time? I do not know. It was just nice to go. No matter what, I continued to love this city. "I went to the square. I could be considered a little Each Secondary born and lived, not putting me in anything in his farewell value was rising", -stuchalo Temples.
I looked at the sky, at dark plate and sparingly lighted trees, the bright lights of houses and colorful storefronts -More and triumph, bitterness and malice, despair and hope, -I do not know what more to me was all mixed up in some crazy devil ringtone feelings that tore me apart. I wanted to get away-from yourself? But this is impossible ... In two steps ahead of me stopped the car. "Good car"- Automatically I thought.
- Do not be afraid to walk alone? - Of course ... Standard situation, lowered the window and shouts across the seat. "You could have come out" - With anger, I thought, but said nothing.
- This beautiful girl is dangerous to walk at night in the city. Sit down'll drive. "And how dangerous!" - Smiled to myself, and held on, warm and slightly damp from my fingers, stick in your pocket.
- Sit down, and how would such a treasure who does not hurt ...
Still ... In this mood I myself want to hurt anyone. Damn, that's stuck! And even though ... maybe it would distract me from my gloomy thoughts? I yanked the door and sat down in a leather chair.
- Where we go? - I asked my new friend, do not forget to show me his collection of rings, bracelets and elegant gold watch, carelessly waving his hands.
- The station.
- Do you work there?
- Yeah, I knock on wheels ... I'm leaving.
- Yes, Che you yelling for? I did not mean that. Why one and not things?
- Why not? - I was beginning to get irritated on him, and on that of the village to it - the machine has rolled on the pavement.
- Yes, Che you yelling again, you che, a business?
- I do not yell - slowly, separating every word I said - I just say. I'm sorry, I'd better go out - I have a bad mood.
- Come on, sit down already. Far from leaving?
- I do not know.
- Like this? You're human, not znaeshkuda going? - He looked looked at me a couple of seconds.
- So it's - I do not know.
- Well, you give ... Brave girl. And there is even who to go?
- No.
- Finally it can be interesting. Che had a fight with her parents?
- I do not have parents.
- With a guy, or what?
- I have no one! - I started to burn again, but she smiled to herself, breasts squeezed and bitterness, do not know why, I blurted out ...
"I am alone as the last eye from going to the blind man ..."
- What, what? - He looked at me almost with horror.
- It Mayakovsky. Therefore, this was, he continued to look confused - well, it's a line from his poem!
- And what have the .. Che there about the eyes?
- Which eye? - I have everything inside just sank, I was ashamed of what I quoted him the run-off, I wanted to it now, my eyes fell out of the car and I did not need to explain more what's the eye, which eye ... How I hated him!
- No. This is not about the eye, but about loneliness.
- Yes you are, damn it, you can speak normally! - He was furious, but somehow I was glad it - in short, you make me start shipping. Let's quickly look at what's what without them your stuff. How much money do you need?
- I do not need money.
- You Th, free of charge, if all you do?
- I do not want to do anything.
- And have - you make me angry, - it has already turned into a landing near the waterfront. I squeezed his hand in warm steel.
"Excellent - flashed through my head, -I have long wanted to try ... if only it worked ..." It was scary and, because of the uncertainty, weak hands. I looked at his face - he grinned arrogantly.
- Well, you're a good girl? - He ran a hand over my face and hair.
Strength and anger right back to me ... I'm slightly tilted her head and looked bottom-up playfully, languishing - this is my always well turned out and almost submissive voice asked ...
- Just do not hit me.
- Che, has teaching? Come on, do not wait - he rudely sent my head down and unzipped his fly.
I gasped in disgust when my lips touched his flesh, and his hand convulsively clutched the knife. I looked up ...- he was watching me. "It is too early"- I restrained myself. Each time you touch him, I poured anger ...
Carefully freeing his hand from his pocket and along the femur led her to the knee, which is stuck between his legs. Again I looked up - he leaned back, closed his eyes and repeated ...
- Come on, come on, well ...
I took a sharp, deep movement on a solid trunk, but then vaguely remember how it all happened. A moment - and I'm right, and a knife in his throat, shallow, even blood can not see. I felt cold all over with fear, that He's going to hit ... A moment ... And the knife already in the throat again, only in a different place, he croaks, from the first wound bloodshed. I see his hands, that terrible beating in the air - he grabbed me!
When I calmed down, his neck was like a continuous laceration, the whole shirt soaked with blood, and I was sitting almost in his arms and held both hands over the knife sticking out of his chest. He had not moved.
The first thing that flashed through my head ... "Happened!" But after a moment the feeling of triumph was replaced by fear. I for some reason, looked around, pulled the knife from him and wiped the blade on his trousers, but the blood has become numb in the gap between the handle and the blade, hands were covered in blood, for some reason, I brought them to face ... sniff. Yes, so I imagined the smell of blood, but entirely without this, quite unnecessary, stink ... I could never have thought that the blood whiff ... I held a knife to his nose, the smell of a mixture of steel with the smell of blood in my head spin and pleasant ache in the abdomen ... "Quite another matter"- With pleasure I thought, but I had to hurry. I got off my, um, the former, a new acquaintance, and sat down in her old place. Carefully inspect clothes, I with pleasure, I noticed a couple of spots on his leather windbreaker. I turned it around and found in the backseat of a half-bottle of mineral water.
- Thank God that is not Coke
It was enough to wash away the blood from his hands and stains with a jacket and a knife. Well, I'm smart enough to look at himself in the rearview mirror - the entire right cheek was covered with blood. The most interesting thing that I did so calmly, consistently and deliberately, it is now very surprised. I even took out his pocket handkerchief, men's handkerchief - I love wearing men's clothes and rubbed them all the places to which could leave their fingerprints. Once again, I looked around and took his hand already on the handle of the door, when suddenly I felt funny ...
- Honey, you forgot to rob him! - I said aloud, and methodically began to shoot with him all the gold - it is because I so diligently to advertise, even the top buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, so that I did not forget about the chain, which, however, had to wash off the blood.
When I reached into my pocket, I was surprised that there is so little money, but I was more fun when I opened my purse and found bardachek.
- Normally, you can live .. Only where it's hidden? The beautician, or what? In the end, the money stuffed in his pockets and put it in gold makeup, lipstick and a powder.
In the glove compartment I found another pistol, and even charged for a long time could not decide to take it or not. I really wanted to take.
- The hell with it! - I decided in the end - what can I lose? - And I picked up.
When I jumped out of the car, I was really scared, I did not know which way to rush, walk or run? And somewhere I ran through the trees until they ran out onto the road. I caught a private trader and arrived at the station, went to see the schedule and saw a policeman, pretending that everything is looked up, stormed out of there. A little calmer, calm, it seemed to me, gait walked to the taxi driver ...
- I Krivoy Rog ...
Of course, he looked at me and smiled and said how much it will cost. I was ready to kill him, too.
- Go. I'm in a hurry ... I see? - Quietly and I said, sitting on the front seat.
- As you say, but the money in advance, - he said, setting the stage for the motor. On the way, I bought a couple of bottles of beer to relax. I started to shake. It is good that the driver fell silent, and I was in such a platoon that ... In general, he was lucky.
I drank a beer, staring at the road and vzhavshis in the seat. I wanted to get into some nook under the seat in the end! Beer does not help. My concern grew ... and suddenly I burst! I started to laugh wildly, I was so ridiculous that once passed the fear, anxiety, anger. And I laughed because of one thought ... I did not even know the name of this, FROM "..."That there behind his car was, and OH MY, will never know! ...